I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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