Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
