How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
