I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
