so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
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