would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
