I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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