He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Houston, we have a squirter
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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