Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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