He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i think my mom watched the whole time
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize