Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
