i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
