before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
