I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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