and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
