I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
