I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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