And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
