i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
