She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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