k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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