C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
