PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
