we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
