I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
