we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
sarcasm needs its own font
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
be right there i have to get my cape
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
