I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
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