She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
