I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
