It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just want nice things and good sex
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
