it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
