Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
