He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
