Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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