omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
