If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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