White coat. Heels.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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