Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
