I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize