I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
