I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it was like eating out sand paper
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
