it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
