i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
