Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you will always have a special place in my vag
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
