He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
