Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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