my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
