Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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