I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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