Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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