guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
