he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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