She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
