i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
